WHAT TEACHERS MAKE or
OBJECTION OVERRULED or
IF THINGS DON’T WORK OUT, YOU CAN ALWAYS GO TO LAW SCHOOL
He says the problem with teachers is
"What's a kid going to learn
from someone who decided his best option in life
was to become a teacher?"
He reminds the other dinner guests that it's true
what they say about teachers:
“Those who can, do; those who can't, teach.”
I decide to bite my tongue instead of his
and resist the temptation to remind the dinner guests
that it's also true what they say about lawyers.
Because we're eating, after all, and this is polite company.
"I mean, you’re a teacher, Taylor"
"Be honest. What do you make?"
And I wish he hadn't done that
(asked me to be honest)
because, you see, I have a policy
about honesty and ass-kicking:
if you ask for it, then I have to let you have it.
You want to know what I make?
I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could.
I can make a C+ feel like a Congressional Medal of Honor
and an A- feel like a slap in the face.
“How dare you waste my time with anything less
than your very best.”
I make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall
in absolute silence. “No, you may not work in groups.
No, you may not ask a question.
Why won't I let you get a drink of water?
Because you're not thirsty, you're bored, that's why.”
I make parents tremble in fear when I call home:
“Hi. This is Mr. Mali. I hope I haven't called at a bad time,
I just wanted to talk to you about something your son said today.
He said, ‘Leave the kid alone. I still cry sometimes, don't you?’
And it was the noblest act of courage I have ever seen.”
I make parents see their children for who they are
and what they can be.
You want to know what I make?
I make kids wonder,
I make them question.
I make them criticize.
I make them apologize and mean it.
I make them write.
I make them read, read, read.
I make them spell ‘definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful,
definitely beautiful’
over and over and over again until they will never misspell
either one of those words again.
I make them show all their work in math.
And hide it on their final drafts in English.
I make them understand that if you got this (the brains)
then you follow this (the heart)
and if someone ever tries to judge you
by what you make, you give them this (the finger).
Let me break it down for you, so you know what I say is true:
I make a difference! What about you?
“What Teachers Make” is excerpted from What Learning Leaves, by Taylor Mali. Copyright © 2002 by Taylor Mali. Adapted by the author. Used by permission of Hanover Press. All rights reserved.
In case you hadn't noticed,
it has somehow become uncool
to sound like you know what you're talking about?
Or believe strongly in what you're saying?
Invisible question marks and parenthetical (you know?)'s
have been attaching themselves to the ends of our sentences?
Even when those sentences aren't, like, questions? You know?
Declarative sentences — so-called
because they used to, like, DECLARE things to be true
as opposed to other things which were, like, not —
have been infected by a totally hip
and tragically cool interrogative tone? You know?
Like, don't think I'm uncool just because I've noticed this;
this is just like the word on the street, you know?
It's like what I've heard?
I have nothing personally invested in my own opinions, okay?
I'm just inviting you to join me in my uncertainty?
What has happened to our conviction?
Where are the limbs out on which we once walked?
Have they been, like, chopped down
with the rest of the rain forest? You know?
Or do we have, like, nothing to say?
Has society become so, like, totally . . .
I mean absolutely . . . You know?
That we've just gotten to the point where it's just, like . . .
whatever!
And so actually our disarticulation . . . ness
is just a clever sort of . . . thing
to disguise the fact that we've become
the most aggressively inarticulate generation
to come along since . . .
you know, a long, long time ago!
I entreat you, I implore you, I exhort you, and
I challenge you: to speak with conviction.
To say what you believe in a manner that bespeaks
the determination with which you believe it.
Because contrary to the wisdom of the bumper sticker,
it is not enough these days to simply QUESTION AUTHORITY.
You have to speak with it, too.
“Totally Like Whatever” is excerpted from What Learning Leaves, by Taylor Mali. Copyright © 2002 by Taylor Mali. Used by permission of Hanover Press. All rights reserved.
TAYLOR MALI, who was born on March 28, 1965, is a teacher and poet. Generally considered to be the most successful poetry slam strategist of all time, having led six of his seven national poetry slam teams to the finals stage and winning the champitonship itself a record four times before anyone had even tied him at three, Mali was one of the original poets to appear on the HBO original series "Russell Simmons Presents Def Poetry." He was also the "golden-tongued, Armani clad villain" of Paul Devlin's 1997 documentary film "SlamNation," which chronicled the National Poetry Slam Championship of 1996, the year of Mali's first national team championship.
A native of New York City and vocal advocate of teachers and the nobility of teaching, Mali himself spent nine years in the classroom teaching everything from English and history to math S.A.T. test preparation. He has performed and lectured for teachers all over the world. Mali received a New York Foundation for the Arts Grant in 2001 to develop "Teacher! Teacher!" a one-man show about poetry, teaching, and math which won the jury prize for best solo performance at the 2001 U. S. Comedy Arts Festival.
Formerly president of Poetry Slam Incorporated, the non-profit organization that oversees all poetry slams in North America, Taylor Mali makes his living entirely as a spoken-word and voiceover artist these days, traveling around the country performing and teaching workshops as well as doing commercial voiceover work. He has narrated several books on tape, including "The Great Fire," for which he won the Golden Earphones Award for children's narration.
Taylor published his first book, What Learning Leaves (Hanover Press) in 2002. He has also released several spoken word CD recordings including “Conviction” in 2003, “The Difference Between Left And Wrong” in 1995, “Taylor Mali & Friends Live at the Bowery Poetry Club”, “Poems from the Like Free Zone” and “Best of Urbana”. Expected to release in the Fall of 2007, will be “Icarus Airlines,” Taylor’s first live spoken word CD since 2003.
In June of 2000, Taylor Mali set a goal for himself: to direct 1,000 people into the field of teaching through poetry, persuasion, perseverance, or passion. So far, he’s got 176.
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